What To Do If You Are Always Thinking About Food
What is a relationship with food?
Some people may not think they have a relationship with food, while others know this all too well. The dictionary defines the term ‘relationship’ as ‘the way in which two or more people or things are connected’. Essentially, if you fuel your body with nutritious foods and goodness, your body will thank you in return. It is all connected.
Your relationship with food is vital. It encompasses so many aspects of life, including your mood and wellbeing, and holds the potential to prevent conditions like diabetes. Moreover, relationships tend to only work to their fullest potential when both sides are cooperating. So if you take the time to consider what types of foods would best fuel your body, it’ll result in a more positive food relationship.
Having a positive relationship with food could be a variety of things. It could be not looking at food as a reward for exercise or not letting food control your day. A positive relationship with food means making conscious efforts to put healthy and nutritious foods into your body, and starting to notice all the things you can eat instead of the things you shouldn’t. Because putting an unhealthy strain on your relationship with food, can result in developing a negative relationship to food.
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Negative vs positive food relationship
If you have a negative relationship with food, you might experience some of the following behaviors:
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You have anxiety relating to the social, emotional and physical components of food and eating.
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You feel guilt, shame or judge mental towards yourself during or after eating.
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Specific foods become your only options, creating an obsessive mindset around food
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You have rigid rules about food like specific times for eating, what food you can eat and the amount of food you eat.
If you have a positive relationship with food, you behaviors might be the following:
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The ability to be at ease with the social, emotional and physical components of food and eating.
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Eating is neither the best nor the worst part of your day.
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You enjoy the foods you consume but not worship them.
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There are no strict rules surrounding the food you eat or your eating habits.
The goal is to get to the place where you’re able to navigate the waters of eating something that you enjoy, even if it might be a little less healthy. Once you get there and are still being able to maintain your weight goal, that will be the ultimate health. That is the ultimate wellness. And it starts with your feelings.
Why feelings are important
The food you eat and your food choices can always give an insight into your feelings and emotions. You might realize that you turn to a certain food when you’re upset, or that you typically only eat ‘bad’ foods when you’re sad. Understanding that your feelings and emotions can be connected to the foods you eat is the first step. It can also give you the opportunity to turn towards food as a friend rather than an adversary.
Attitude & mindset
When it comes to eating, people often think that when trying to eat better and getting on a healthier track with your diet that it has more to do with the food you eat. While that is true, it also has more to do with your mindset and attitude surrounding the food. The truth of the matter is that it’s more about your attitude around the food, and understanding your motivation for eating, than it is about the food itself.
Of course, that’s not to say that you should go to town on saturated fats and pizza and Entenmann’s. But on a macro level, and for sustainable health and wellness, food should not only be about what is good for your weight. Food needs to also be about what is good for your heart.
What to do if you are always thinking about food
One major sign that a relationship with food is imbalanced is when it becomes all consuming. This is where all of your actions and choices may start to be influenced by your thoughts about food, or where you feel that food is the center of your life. Basically where you feel like food has too much control over your daily actions.
There’s a difference between food being a joyful part of our lives and taking over our lives. When it starts to control your actions, such as whether or not you attend social events, then it is no longer beneficial.
The all-in mentality
When you are constantly thinking about food to the point of exhaustion, you are most likely in a state of all-in with your relationship with food. To be all-in is to only think about food as a means of physical nourishment, meaning we believe food serves one purpose and one purpose only. Enjoyment and experience aren’t prioritized here at all and often are ignored.
Having this mentality around food is when you may track your intake, carefully plan out all of your meals, and second guess your choices or actions pertaining to food when they aren’t totally and completely driven by nutrition. In a nutshell, to be all-in is to be hyper-focused on your food and nutrition choices.
The problem with all-in thinking
Some might like having an all-in relationship to their food, so much so that they might not understand why this type of relationship with food would be a problem. You might question it by saying that prioritizing nourishment through food and nutrition is a healthy habit, that you are doing what is best for your body.
But the real problem with this mindset is that it starts to take the joy out of eating. It starts to make eating a chore, something you have to do to meet a mental requirement or goal that you’ve set for yourself. It can leave you constantly feeling stressed, anxious, guilty, or overwhelmed.
Only thinking about food as a means of physical nourishment creates a negative relationship with food. When we’re constantly thinking about food, it can become exhausting to the point where we eventually can’t do it any longer. We often then head in the opposite direction, and all of a sudden find ourselves in the all-out mindset.
The all-out mentality
Then swinging from one extreme to another is known as the all-out mentality. When food is constantly on your mind, chances are that you are either currently in or have been in this cycle before. You periodically find yourself burnt out to the point where you simply can’t anymore.
So instead of thinking about food as means of physical nourishment, you say forget it. What can I do for instant gratification only, to feel good and experience joy right here and right now through food? This may look like a binge eating episode, overconsumption of enjoyment foods, mindless eating, or emotional eating. And at the end, you’re left feeling stressed and guilty.
The why behind you always thinking about food
You’re constantly thinking about food because food is black and white in your mind. It’s a stressor, a controlling factor in your life. You are either being good and eating for nourishment, or being bad and eating for enjoyment. There’s no in-between.
How to rebalance your relationship to food
In order to change this, to stop constantly thinking about food, you need to develop a balanced, sustainable relationship with food. A balanced relationship with food is one that prioritizes both nourishment and enjoyment. It’s one where you know how to build meals that make you feel satiated and energized, but also build meals that are satisfying and enjoyable to you.
Where you can enjoy your life and still prioritize nourishment. So let’s talk about how you can start to heal your relationship with food by practicing balance with your eating. You should start by acknowledging your individual thoughts, tendencies, and habits with the all-in and all-out tendencies.
Ask yourself when and how you find yourself on the all-in end of the spectrum? Then ask yourself the same for the all-out end. You are essentially trying to establish if there certain situations, stressors, or triggers that result in you acting in one way or another. Start by being reflective and compassionate. Once you acknowledge your tendencies, you can start to change those previously existing habits and build new ones.
Lifestyles more susceptible to having a negative relationship with food
While anyone can be susceptible to developing a negative relationship to food, there are certain lifestyles that are more likely to attract this relationship. Once you recognize that you fall within one of these lifestyles, you will be one step closer to conquering and taking control of your relationship with food. However if you don’t relate with one of these lifestyles, and still find your relationship with food is rocky, it does not mean that you still can’t take control.
Bad eating mindset
Those who possess bad, or negative, eating mindsets are more likely to find themselves susceptible to developing a negative relationship with food. Those who have a bad eating mindset often experience feelings of shame, guilt and even anxiety when it comes to their relationship with food. They often have fixed rules about the food they allow or don’t allow themselves to eat, which creates a negative relationship between themselves and food.
WHAT CAN BE DONE
If you find that you relate more to have a bad eating mindset, try eating mindfully. Mindful eating is a great practice that can help you to acknowledge your response to food without getting into judgement. It also helps with the satisfaction aspect of eating and can help you tune into your own hunger cues. Additionally, practicing mindful eating is a great way to help develop a positive relationship with food.
Food anxiety
Those who have had experiences with food anxiety are more likely to find themselves susceptible to developing a negative relationship with food. Those who suffer from food anxiety typically fear food and often avoid eating most foods because they cause anxiety. This developed fear and avoidance makes it difficult for those within this lifestyle to develop a positive relationship with food.
WHAT CAN BE DONE
If you find that you relate more to having a food anxiety based lifestyle, try taking away your temptation first. A good first step to developing a positive relationship with food is not keeping those hard to resist foods in your house, that way they are not within a close proximity and are unable to make you anxious. And if your emotions are driving you to go grocery shopping, take a step back and ask yourself how you feel, what you want, and why you want it.
Eating disorders
Those who currently have or have had a previous relationship with an eating disorder like emotional eating, binge eating or compulsive eating, are more likely to find themselves susceptible to a negative relationship with food. These eating disorders often create a negative connection between your feelings and your relationship to food, so those who fall within this lifestyle would find it more difficult to develop a positive relationship to food.
WHAT CAN BE DONE
If you find that you relate more to the eating disorders lifestyle, try gratitude meditation. Gratitude meditation can help you become less dependent on food to bring you feelings of comfort and safety. It can also help you set good boundaries and create an overall better relationship with you and food. Additionally, practicing gratitude meditation is a good first step in developing a positive relationship with food.
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The best relationship you could have with food is one of interdependence and one of joy, even amongst any emotional state. In that you will find a calm, stable relationship with your diet.
Extra tips for your relationship with food
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Practice knowing your motivation for eating. This mindful eating tip can help you to acknowledge the third question, ‘why do you want it?’ Knowing your motivation will help you to better understand your why.
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Keep a food journal. Keeping track of what and when you eat, along with any impactful or emotional events that happen, can help you connect your eating patterns and emotions.
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Don’t get too restrictive with the food you eat. If you make your diet too restrictive, you are more likely to develop a stressed relationship with food. It’s okay to allow yourself ‘cheats’ if you are doing it for the right reason.
