This Is Why You’re Experiencing Food Guilt
What is food guilt?
The same right and wrong beliefs are also taught in regard to certain eating habits. A lot of us grew up with the knowledge that certain foods are either good or bad. This message that food can either be good or bad typically has the worst affect on young children whose parents or relatives engage in dieting and disordered eating. Those children have instilled mindsets from a young age that certain foods are bad, and eating those bad foods would be a behavior similar to stealing or lying, and thus causing them to feel guilty.
For example, if a parent keeps restricting sweets and tells the child it is unhealthy and they should not be eating it, the child learns that eating sweets is wrong, and the natural reaction is to feed bad about it. And guilt then sinks in.
The point is, just as guilt is taught, so is food guilt. When you feel food guilt it means you believe you are doing something wrong, you are breaking a food rule you have.
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Reasons we should not feel guilty when eating
First things first, there is no need or role for feeling guilt or shame with your food choices. A well-balanced diet and lifestyle includes all types of food and honors the many roles food plays in our life, from nourishing our bodies on a cellular level to tradition, culture, and enjoyment. Not only is food guilt not productive for creating healthy eating habits, but it also can be really damaging to your physical and mental health.
Have you ever felt less in control of food more likely to overeat the foods you associate with guilt or shame?
This feelings leads to that start-and-stop cycle that we often share about. The shame and guilt intensify after overeating, so you try more rigid and restrictive behaviors to make up for being “bad,” only to feel out of control around food because you’ve become hyper-aware that you can’t have it, and then you overindulge.
Or maybe instead of feeling out of control, you simply try to rationalize with yourself, “I haven’t had any of this food all week and I’m not going to have it again, so I might as well just have all of this other food now.” And the cycle repeats itself. Whenever you’re in this start-and-stop cycle, you’re not able to form consistent eating habits that support your daily and long-term physical health. Additionally, over time, this can also turn into more serious health conditions.
This guilt and shame lead to feelings of helplessness and lack of control, as well as self-criticism, all of which can encourage poor self-esteem and low mood, impacting your mental health. This is why it’s important for you to put some of your time and energy into overcoming food guilt.
Why you shouldn’t allow food guilt to nest inside you
It’s important to understand that there is no need or role for feeling guilt or shame with your food choices. A well balanced diet and lifestyle includes all types of food and honors the many roles food plays in our life.
But we don’t always eat logically or without emotions. As humans, we incorporate many layers into our food choices including our emotions, everyday stressors, and environmental factors. So it’s imperative to use this knowledge realistically in our lives.
Not only is food guilt not productive for creating balanced eating habits, but it also can be extremely damaging to your physical and mental health. Have you ever felt ashamed around foods you associate with guilt or shame? This mentality leads to a vicious cycle where shame and guilt intensify after overeating. During this cycle, you often end up trying more rigid and restrictive behaviors to make up for being bad, only to feel out of control around food because you’ve become hyper-aware that you can’t have it, and then you overindulge.
Another common scenario you may find yourself in, is instead of feeling out of control, you simply try to rationalize with yourself. That rationalization may look something like this:
“I haven’t had any cookies all week and I’m not going to have it again, so I might as well just have all of them now.”
And the cycle repeats itself. Whenever you’re in this repeating cycle, you’re not able to form consistent eating habits that support your daily and long-term health. And over time, this can also turn into more serious health conditions. This guilt and shame lead to feelings of helplessness and lack of control, as well as self-criticism, all of which can encourage poor self-esteem and low mood, impacting your mental health. This is why it’s so important for you to put some of your time and energy into overcoming food guilt.
How to get rid of food guilt for good
Overcoming food guilt is a journey and it’s absolutely possible to do. Even if you recognize that you want a positive relationship with food and want to experience a life without food guilt, those feelings of guilt or shame will still happen, especially when eating foods that have been ingrained in your mind as bad or after having a moment of overindulgence.
It’s completely okay and normal to be experiencing thought patterns that aren’t aligned with a healthy relationship with food. It’s important to note that it takes a lot of compassion, patience, practice, and support to really help you reframe your mindset around your relationship with food and remove feelings of guilt.
The following steps will help you to begin removing that guilt and calling it out when it happens, so that over time you can get to a place of feeling at ease and at peace with your food choices.
Bring awareness to when and why you’re experiencing food guilt
This first step is all about bringing awareness to when and why you’re experiencing food guilt. There are usually two common causes of guilt around food.
You may have made a mindless choice and realized it after the fact
First, feelings of guilt can happen if you made a food choice that’s not in alignment with what you truly wanted or needed. This usually happens when external factors influence our food choices without us even realizing it, like emotions such as stress or boredom, our environment, or eating while distracted.
You may experience this if you made an in the moment decision that you didn’t truly want to make. This type of guilt tends to have less to do with the food itself, but more to do with you taking or not taking a specific action.
You may be holding negative beliefs around food
The second and often more deep-rooted cause of food guilt we see is feeling guilty around after eating foods that are often labeled bad or off limits. This can happen even when you consciously choose to eat something because you truly enjoy it and what it is, but the sense of shame creeps in any way because you’ve been taught to think of some foods as good and others as bad.
In either case, you can use a reflective food journal to bring awareness to what’s causing your food guilt and when you’re experiencing it. With a reflective food journal, the focus isn’t on calories or listing good and bad foods, but rather uncovering more about what you felt before, during, and after eating so you can notice where these feelings of guilt come up.
These insights about yourself can actually help guide you and help you learn how to best support yourself. When your focus is solely on feeling guilty, you never get the chance to do this self-discovery and you’ll continue to go through this cycle of guilt. Once you have more clarity and awareness on what’s causing feelings of guilt, the next step is to take a small action to help you through that.
When you do notice you’re feeling guilty, call yourself out and practice compassionate curiosity. Allow yourself the space to explore why those feelings are coming up again, recognize that they’re there, and remind yourself that food guilt doesn’t support your wellbeing.
Let go of the food rules you’re holding onto
Think about what would happen when you were a kid and your parent, guardian, or teacher told you that you weren’t allowed to do something. You might have wanted to do exactly what they said not to do and wanted to do it so much more. This is the exact same series of events that occurs with food and food rules. It’s simply human nature.
When you tell yourselves that:
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You can’t have a food item
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It’s bad for you
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You’re not allowed to have it
You are inadvertently putting it on a pedestal, and that makes us idealize the food item and want the food item so much more than if we had just allowed ourselves to have some in the first place. Once you do have the food item, you’re much more likely to overindulge and subsequently experience that extreme sense of guilt you’re looking to avoid.
When you remove these food rules altogether, when you take the food item off of the pedestal, the food item no longer has power over you. You no longer feel out of control around it, and therefore that guilt cycle stops. Let go of the food rules, and the guilt will go with it.
Slow down before you even eat your meals
Practice slowing down before and during your meals. Sometimes food guilt can stem from mindless eating. Taking a moment to pause before eating and checking in with yourself to see what your body needs and wants is such a great way to become aware of what external sources are influencing your food choices versus you’re choosing based on your body’s needs or what you’d like to consciously choose.
When you’re taking this pause, ask yourself why you’re eating:
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Is it boredom?
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Is it stress?
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Is it situational?
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Or are you experiencing physical hunger?
Then ask yourself if what you are choosing to eat is something you truly want or only want because of external factors. If your food guilt stems from eating specific foods, this pause can allow you to give full permission to yourself to intentionally choose and enjoy that food.
Practice compassionate curiosity
The older you get the more you learn that things don’t always go according to plan. It’s inevitable for things to take a sharp left turn without your intent every once in a while. When this does happen, practicing compassionate curiosity can allow you to break the guilt cycle.
Instead of participating in negative self-talk when you find yourself in a situation where things could have gone one way, but unfortunately went in another, pause and reflect. Ask yourself without judgment:
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“Why did this happen?”
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“How might I do things differently next time to prevent this same situation from happening again?”
Lifestyles that are more susceptible to food guilt
While anyone can be susceptible to experiencing food guilt, there are certain lifestyles that are more likely to attract this feeling. Once you recognize that you fall within one of these lifestyles, you will be one step closer to taking control and starting your wellness journey. However if you don’t relate with one of these lifestyles, and still find yourself experiencing food guilt, it does not mean that you still can’t take control.
Eating disorders
Those who have experience with eating disorders, like binge eating or emotional eating, are more likely to be susceptible to experiencing food guilt. Someone who is experiencing or has had experience with an eating disorder typically struggles with food more than someone who does not have an eating disorder. This type of lifestyle might be familiar with food guilt because binge eaters and emotional eaters often feel guilty after they have gone through a binge eating cycle, and this often leads to another binge.
Poor food mindset
Those who have a poor food mindset, or who have a negative mindset associated with food, are more likely to be susceptible to experiencing food guilt. Someone who has a poor food mindset might label the food they eat as either good or bad, or healthy or junk. They might also associate themselves as bad or junk when they eat the foods they labeled as such. This type of lifestyle might be familiar with food guilt because if they allow themselves to eat that bad or junk food, they may feel guilt towards allowing themself to be bad or junk.
Food anxiety
Those who have food anxiety, or find themselves nervous around or just thinking about food, are more likely to be susceptible to experiencing food guilt. Someone who has food anxiety might not let themself eat certain foods, whether they believe it’s because the food is bad or if they have a troubled past with that food. This type of lifestyle might be familiar with food guilt because when they allow themself to eat the food they deprive themselves of, this often causes feelings of guilt.
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By reflecting with compassion and curiosity, you’re able to look ahead to the future and plan for success rather than dwell on the past. These are just a few of the first steps to take to overcome food guilt. By practicing these and other mindful eating practices, you’ll start experiencing more freedom and peace with your food choices over time.
Extra tips to avoid food guilt
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Intuitive eating. By practicing intuitive eating, you can clear yourself of any stress or anxiety surrounding the food you’re eating. This in turn will make you enjoy the food and the people you’re with.
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Mindful eating. Try practicing mindful eating when you are experiencing food guilt by savoring the food you are eating.
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Use a food journal to track what meals or which foods trigger your guilt to figure out where to start.
