Following These Steps Can Help You Have A More Positive Relationship With Food
What is a relationship with food?
Some people may not think they have a relationship with food, while others know this all too well. The dictionary defines the term relationship as ‘the way in which two or more people or things are connected’. Essentially, if you fuel your body with nutritious foods and goodness, your body will thank you in return. It is all connected.
Your relationship with food is vital. It encompasses so many aspects of life, including your mood and wellbeing, and holds the potential to prevent conditions like diabetes. Moreover, relationships tend to only work to their fullest potential when both sides are cooperating. So if you take the time to consider what types of foods would best fuel your body, it’ll result in a more positive food relationship.
Having a positive relationship with food could be a variety of things. It could be not looking at food as a reward for exercise or not letting food control your day. A positive relationship with food means making conscious efforts to put healthy and nutritious foods into your body, and starting to notice all the things you can eat instead of the things you shouldn’t. Because putting an unhealthy strain on your relationship with food, can result in developing a negative relationship to food.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE E-BOOK FOR MORE WELLNESS & NUTRITION TIPS!
Positive vs negative food relationship
If you have a positive relationship with food, you behaviors might be the following:
-
The ability to be at ease with the social, emotional and physical components of food and eating.
-
Eating is neither the best nor the worst part of your day.
-
You enjoy the foods you consume but not worship them.
-
There are no strict rules surrounding the food you eat or your eating habits.
If you have a negative relationship with food, you might experience some of the following behaviors:
-
You have anxiety relating to the social, emotional and physical components of food and eating.
-
You feel guilt, shame or judge mental towards yourself during or after eating.
-
Specific foods become your only options, creating an obsessive mindset around food
-
You have rigid rules about food like specific times for eating, what food you can eat and the amount of food you eat.
The goal is to get to the place where you’re able to navigate the waters of eating something that you enjoy, even if it might be a little less healthy. Once you get there and are still being able to maintain your weight goal, that will be the ultimate health. That is the ultimate wellness. And it starts with your feelings.
What does a positive relationship with food look like
Let’s start there by sharing what a positive relationship with food might be like, because remember that they’re different for everyone.
Having a positive relationship with food could mean that you enjoy foods that you understand are promoting better health outcomes. For example, recognizing that eating enough protein per day contributes to maintaining lean muscle mass or that eating healthy fats can be good for cardiovascular and brain health. Or that eating whole food carbohydrates give you the energy to fuel your day and allow you to carry out the actions you need to take.
It can also mean that you feel little to no guilt, shame, or regret around your food choices. It could mean you may be more mindful during the times you do eat, and you slow down to enjoy the food for what it is.
A positive relationship with food tends to mean that you are eating until you’re comfortably full and eating again when you feel physical hunger. More so, it’s about giving yourself open relationships to all foods and not identifying something as clean/dirty or good/bad or on/off-limits.
Steps to follow for a healthier relationship with food
So now that you have a snapshot of what a positive relationship with food may look like and why it’s important, here are a few steps to practice to help you cultivate that positive relationship with food. Try grabbing a journal and writing your thoughts out on paper. It might prove to be helpful to give yourself about 5 minutes in order to really explore this for yourself.
Explore what a positive relationship with food looks like for you personally
Start by journaling and defining what a positive relationship with food looks like for you. If you do’t know where to start, ask yourself what is most important for you to feel or experience around food? And from there you should be able to start formulating your ideas about your relationship to food! But remember, there is no right or wrong answer here! It’s whatever you feel when it comes to your relationship to food.
Ask yourself what might be blocking you from having a positive relationship with food
The next part is to identify where the gap is between how you define a positive relationship with food and what your current experience and daily actions are. You can ask yourself what is working to align with your definition. Or you can even take it a step further by asking yourself what’s not working.
What actions can you take to create a positive relationship with food
With the areas you’ve identified as not working or not aligned with your definition of a positive relationship with food, journal and brainstorm what practices you could start implementing in your day-to-day life. You’ll want to focus on practices that are around mealtime, because that will support you in expressing a positive relationship with food.
Let’s say one of your challenges that you’ve identified is that you often feel overly stressed around mealtime. One practice that you might implement is to take two minutes before each meal and do a few rounds of deep breathing.
Not only will this deep breathing support your body on a physiological level by triggering your parasympathetic nervous system, but it will also help you digest your food better. It will also help you retrain and reframe your mind to start to adopt a new mindset around your meal times!
Remember though that this rarely happens over night, and it can take time. It takes a lot of practice, patience, and slow progression but day after day this exercise can easily impact your relationship with food in a positive way.
Identify the emotions that you experience around certain food choices
You also want to pay attention to your emotions, feelings, and stories that you tell yourself around your food choices, and around your mealtimes. Paying close attention to the stories that you tell yourself can really give you a lot of insight into what is deeply ingrained in your mind about your relationship with your food.
Keep a journal recording your feelings and emotions. These recordings could be that you notice you eat more food when you are anxious or that you numb yourself by eating food because you’re really stressed. It could also be that when you eat foods that you have deemed good or bad, you feel a sense of guilt or regret, or any other emotion that strongly identified with eating a good or bad food.
Bring awareness to your experience with food
Lastly, simply observe your thoughts around it, call it out, and bring awareness to it. As soon as you start to shine a light on those old thought patterns and beliefs, the stronger you’ll become at intervening and taking action that’s more aligned with how you want to eat and live.
Know that it takes a lot of compassion, patience, practice, and support to really help you reframe your mindset around your relationship with food. Remember, this is a journey. It’s okay to want a positive relationship with food while experiencing thought patterns that aren’t aligned with that.
It’s okay to have days where your inner conversation is completely positive and to have the next day be more challenging. It’s okay to make big strides and have a few mental setbacks. This is part of the journey and the process!
Why feelings are important
The food you eat and your food choices can always give an insight into your feelings and emotions. You might realize that you turn to a certain food when you’re upset, or that you typically only eat ‘bad’ foods when you’re sad. Understanding that your feelings and emotions can be connected to the foods you eat is the first step. It can also give you the opportunity to turn towards food as a friend rather than an adversary.
Attitude & mindset
When it comes to eating, people often think that when trying to eat better and getting on a healthier track with your diet that it has more to do with the food you eat. While that is true, it also has more to do with your mindset and attitude surrounding the food. The truth of the matter is that it’s more about your attitude around the food, and understanding your motivation for eating, than it is about the food itself.
Of course, that’s not to say that you should go to town on saturated fats and pizza and Entenmann’s. But on a macro level, and for sustainable health and wellness, food should not only be about what is good for your weight. Food needs to also be about what is good for your heart.
Lifestyles more susceptible to having a negative relationship with food
While anyone can be susceptible to developing a negative relationship to food, there are certain lifestyles that are more likely to attract this relationship. Once you recognize that you fall within one of these lifestyles, you will be one step closer to conquering and taking control of your relationship with food. However if you don’t relate with one of these lifestyles, and still find your relationship with food is rocky, it does not mean that you still can’t take control.
Bad eating mindset
Those who possess bad, or negative, eating mindsets are more likely to find themselves susceptible to developing a negative relationship with food. Those who have a bad eating mindset often experience feelings of shame, guilt and even anxiety when it comes to their relationship with food. They often have fixed rules about the food they allow or don’t allow themselves to eat, which creates a negative relationship between themselves and food.
WHAT CAN BE DONE
If you find that you relate more to have a bad eating mindset, try eating mindfully. Mindful eating is a great practice that can help you to acknowledge your response to food without getting into judgement. It also helps with the satisfaction aspect of eating and can help you tune into your own hunger cues. Along with asking yourself the 3 questions, practicing mindful eating is a great way to help develop a positive relationship with food.
Eating disorders
Those who currently have or have had a previous relationship with an eating disorder like emotional eating, binge eating or compulsive eating, are more likely to find themselves susceptible to a negative relationship with food. These eating disorders often create a negative connection between your feelings and your relationship to food, so those who fall within this lifestyle would find it more difficult to develop a positive relationship to food.
WHAT CAN BE DONE
If you find that you relate more to the eating disorders lifestyle, try gratitude meditation. Gratitude meditation can help you become less dependent on food to bring you feelings of comfort and safety. It can also help you set good boundaries and create an overall better relationship with you and food. Along with asking yourself the 3 questions, practicing gratitude meditation is a good first step in developing a positive relationship with food.
Food anxiety
Those who have had experiences with food anxiety are more likely to find themselves susceptible to developing a negative relationship with food. Those who suffer from food anxiety typically fear food and often avoid eating most foods because they cause anxiety. This developed fear and avoidance makes it difficult for those within this lifestyle to develop a positive relationship with food.
WHAT CAN BE DONE
If you find that you relate more to having a food anxiety based lifestyle, try taking away your temptation first. A good first step to developing a positive relationship with food is not keeping those hard to resist foods in your house, that way they are not within a close proximity and are unable to make you anxious. And if your emotions are driving you to go grocery shopping, take a step back and ask yourself the 3 questions for the ‘bad’ foods you want to go out and buy.
********
Remember there is no such thing as all-or-nothing, or perfect. One of the things that can really help support a positive relationship with food is to create a healthy lifestyle that’s fully unique to you, rather than following plans or some idolized way of eating. The best relationship you could have with food is one of interdependence and one of joy, even amongst any emotional state.
Extra tips for your relationship with food
-
Practice knowing your motivation for eating. This mindful eating tip can help you to acknowledge the third question, ‘why do you want it?’ Knowing your motivation will help you to better understand your why.
-
Keep a food journal. Keeping track of what and when you eat, along with any impactful or emotional events that happen, can help you connect your eating patterns and emotions.
-
Don’t get too restrictive with the food you eat. If you make your diet too restrictive, you are more likely to develop a stressed relationship with food. It’s okay to allow yourself ‘cheats’ if you are doing it for the right reason.
