The Different Forms of Emotional Eating
What is emotional eating?
Emotional eating is eating as a way to suppress or soothe negative emotions. Sometimes the strongest food cravings hit when you're at your weakest point emotionally. You may turn to food for comfort, consciously or unconsciously, when facing a difficult problem, feeling stressed or even feeling bored.
Although some people eat less in the face of strong emotions, those who emotionally eat often turn to impulsive or binge eating in times of emotional distress. This leads to quickly consuming whatever's convenient without much enjoyment in what they’re eating.
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Why food?
Negative emotions may lead to a feeling of emptiness or an emotional void, and those who suffer from emotional eating see food as a way to fill that void. However this often creates a false feeling of ‘fullness’ and temporary wholeness, and once those unsatisfied feelings return emotional eaters turn to food once more.
Those who suffer from emotional eating could also use food as a means of distraction. They may focus on eating comfort food instead of dealing with an upcoming event or conflict, because it may be a painful situation they’d rather not take part in.
What usually triggers emotional eating?
While most emotional eating episodes are linked to unpleasant feelings, they can also be triggered by positive emotions, such as rewarding yourself for achieving a goal or celebrating a holiday or happy event. It’s important to recognize your personal triggers for emotional eating, whether they’re because of a place, situation or a feeling. Common triggers of emotional eating could be one or all of the following:
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Stress
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Not feeling your emotions
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Boredom
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Feelings of emptiness
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Childhood habits
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Social influences
Emotional hunger can be a powerful feeling, which is why it’s often easily mistaken for physical hunger.
Mood-food cycle
Major life events or, more commonly, the hassles of daily life can trigger negative emotions that lead to emotional eating. Your emotions can become so tied to your eating habits that you automatically reach for a treat whenever you're angry or stressed without thinking about what you're doing. These triggers might include:
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Relationship conflicts
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Work or other stressors
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Fatigue
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Financial pressures
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Health problems
Emotional eating often results in an unhealthy cycle of eating. Your emotions trigger you to overeat, you beat yourself up for giving into your triggers, you feel guilty and shameful, and you overeat again. When negative emotions threaten to trigger emotional eating, you can take steps to control cravings.
The different forms of emotional eating
We know by know that emotional eating is eating as a way to suppress or soothe negative emotions. However sometimes emotional eating isn’t a clean-cut definition and can be harder to notice because it is not going by its name.
What do I mean by that?
Like anything, emotional eating isn’t always black and white and it is truly never the same for everyone. So sometimes it can go by a different name for some people, making it harder for them to recognize that what they are doing is in fact emotionally eating. The following are just a few of the different forms emotional eating can take.
Avoidance eating
This is when you have a deep and latent issue, like the passing of a loved one or a dysfunctional relationship. You're eating rather than facing the deeper problem or insecurity. You might not see it as emotional eating at first because you might not even be recognizing that you are trying to avoid feelings in the first place.
Comfort eating
This is when you use food to soothe you, and this can happen under any number of circumstances, including:
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On airplanes: You're a combination of exhausted, homesick and dehydrated and there's comfort in eating whatever the plane or hotel offers.
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PMS: Food is often not as much a biological need as it is a source of comfort when you may be feeling bloated and icky.
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Under the weather: You would think people would lose weight when they're sick because they're either sleeping or filling up on tea and soup. Yet it's common for people to gain weight when sick. You're lying low and not exerting any energy. Friends bring you treats. You find comfort in a large matzo ball in your chicken noodle soup, in a large bagel or pasta.
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Self-Isolation: Covid quarantine was especially cruel and hard for those with eating disorders like emotional eating. The forced self-isolation and fear brought of a lot of unwanted emotions for many.
Companion eating
This is when you’re eating together with a friend or spouse is what bonds you, and you continue to engage in unhelpful eating behaviors with this person (or people) because you fear there isn't a relationship without it. This doesn’t mean that you can never go out to eating with this person again though. Try explaining your feelings to them. You never know, they could be feeling the same way you do. Then you can both use each other to hold yourselves accountable.
Fearing the unknown eating
This is when you're unsure of an anticipated outcome, (a high school senior waiting to hear back from colleges, or someone waiting for that all-important post-first-date text or a job applicant waiting for an offer) it can make a person crazy. This can be a stronger feeling than even hate or anger. One may confuse this unsettling feeling in the stomach with hunger and suppress it with food for lack of a better option.
FOMO eating
This is when you're in a group setting and feel as though you need to eat or drink with everyone else so you aren't left out. This happens frequently in the workplace when someone brings donuts. Another example is a bottomless brunch, where you feel you need to drink as much as your girlfriends to avoid their comments.
Forced eating
This is when you feel obligated to eat something because someone else made it for you. Additionally this can be made worse if they're guilting or pressuring you. An example of this could be a friend coming over to visit and making you an apple pie. You know that you don’t want to eat it, but you feeling like you need to because your friend took the time to make it.
Lonely eating
This is when you're seeking companionship or you want pleasure from a physical encounter but can not have it in the moment. So you compensate for that loneliness with eating. You may not eat the entire pantry in food, it may only even be a few things, but you know that if you were not feeling lonely you would not have been hungry for that food.
Self-sabotage eating
This is when you're well aware that you're doing something negative as you continue to eat. You may start to use justification and excuse language like, "It's okay I'll start Monday" or "It's okay I didn't eat all day or won't eat tomorrow." A good example is that sometimes your phone falls and your screen cracks. You can either pick it up and get the screen repaired or take a hammer to it and demolish it. The same goes for when you’re emotionally eating.
Trash can eating
This is when you don't want to waste food by throwing it away. If you grew up in a household that made you "clean your plate," you may relate. Often moms will eat off their kids' high chairs or you might be tempted to ask a friend at a restaurant, "Are you going to finish that?" It's important to tell yourself that it's better in the trash than in my body.
Emotional hunger vs. physical hunger
Physical and emotional hunger may be easily confused, but there are key differences between the two. Emotional hunger cues are typically as followed:
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It comes on suddenly and abruptly
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You crave only certain types of food
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You binge on food but don’t feel satisfied
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You feel shame or guilt towards eating
Meanwhile, physical hunger cues are typically as followed:
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It develops slowly over time
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You desire a variety of food groups
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You feel the sensation of fullness and take it as a cue to stop eating
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You have no negative feelings about eating
It may also help to pay attention to how and when your hunger starts as well as how you feel after eating.
Lifestyles more susceptible to emotional eating
While anyone can be susceptible to emotional eating, there are certain lifestyles that are more likely to attract it. Once you recognize that you fall within one of these lifestyles, you will be one step closer to taking control. However if you don’t relate with one of these lifestyles, and still find yourself emotionally eating, it does not mean that you still can’t take control.
Not relieving stress
Those who do not deal with the stress in their life, or don’t look to relieve their stress, are more likely to become susceptible to emotional eating. If you’re experiencing stress on a regular basis and not relieving it, your body is likely producing higher levels of cortisol, which is a stress hormone that causes cravings. This lifestyle of generating high levels of stress without relieving it can lead to more serious health problems, along with the higher chance of suffering from emotional eating.
WHAT CAN BE DONE
If stress contributes to your emotional eating, try a stress management technique, such as yoga, meditation or deep breathing. You might also find it helpful to keep a food journal. By writing down what you eat, how much you eat, and when you eat, you will over time be able to see the patterns that reveal the connection between your mood and the food you turn to.
Easily bored
Those who find themselves easily bored, or with a lot of free time on their hands, are more likely to become susceptible to emotional eating. Being bored affectively marks an appraised lack of meaning in the present situation and in life. So often times as an attempt to distract oneself from this experience, emotional eaters tend to use boredom as an emotional validation to binge.
WHAT CAN BE DONE
Instead of snacking when you're not hungry, try to distract yourself with a healthier behavior to fill your boredom and free time. This can include taking a walk, reading a book, listening to music, partaking in yoga, or even calling a friend.
Unrealistic weight-loss goals
Those who rely on extreme dieting lifestyles and have unrealistic weight-loss goals are more likely to become susceptible to emotional eating. When you have unrealistic weight-loss goals and are trying to lose weight, this often results in limiting your calories too much, eating the same foods repeatedly and banishing treats. This lifestyle often generates high emotions towards yourself and the food you’re not allowing yourself to eat, and in turn may make you more susceptible to emotional eating.
WHAT CAN BE DONE
Unrealistic weight-loss goals will increase your food cravings, especially in response to your emotions. By eating satisfying amounts of healthier foods, enjoying an occasional treat and getting plenty of variety to help curb your cravings, you will be able to set more realistic weight-loss goals.
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Like anything, emotional eating isn’t always black and white and it is truly never the same for everyone. So sometimes it can go by a different name for some people, making it harder for them to recognize that what they are doing is in fact emotionally eating. However by recognizing the different forms emotional eating takes, you’re one step closer to healing.
Extra tips for emotional eating
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Try to take a moment to pause and reflect when you’re hit with a craving, and ask yourself “can it wait 5 minutes?” Then while you’re waiting, check in with yourself and your feelings to find out why you want it.
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Practice mindful eating. By eating more mindfully, you can help focus your mind on your food and the pleasure of a meal to curb overeating.
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Keep an emotional food diary. This can help you keep track of your patterns of emotional eating so that you can identify them more easily in the future.
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Find other ways to ‘feed your feelings’ like taking a brisk walk, practicing yoga or reading a good book.
