How To Help Yourself With Food Guilt and Emotionally Eating During The Holiday Season
What is emotional eating?
Emotional eating is eating as a way to suppress or soothe negative emotions. Sometimes the strongest food cravings hit when you're at your weakest point emotionally. You may turn to food for comfort, consciously or unconsciously, when facing a difficult problem, feeling stressed or even feeling bored.
Although some people eat less in the face of strong emotions, those who emotionally eat often turn to impulsive or binge eating in times of emotional distress. This leads to quickly consuming whatever's convenient without much enjoyment in what they’re eating.
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Mood-food cycle
Major life events or, more commonly, the hassles of daily life can trigger negative emotions that lead to emotional eating. Your emotions can become so tied to your eating habits that you automatically reach for a treat whenever you're angry or stressed without thinking about what you're doing. These triggers might include:
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Relationship conflicts
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Work or other stressors
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Fatigue
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Financial pressures
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Health problems
Emotional eating often results in an unhealthy cycle of eating. Your emotions trigger you to overeat, you beat yourself up for giving into your triggers, you feel guilty and shameful, and you overeat again. When negative emotions threaten to trigger emotional eating, it can sometimes come in the form of food guilt. Especially when it is around the holiday season.
What is food guilt?
The same right and wrong beliefs are also taught in regard to certain eating habits. A lot of us grew up with the knowledge that certain foods are either good or bad. This message that food can either be good or bad typically has the worst affect on young children whose parents or relatives engage in dieting and disordered eating. Those children have instilled mindsets from a young age that certain foods are bad, and eating those bad foods would be a behavior similar to stealing or lying, and thus causing them to feel guilty.
For example, if a parent keeps restricting sweets and tells the child it is unhealthy and they should not be eating it, the child learns that eating sweets is wrong, and the natural reaction is to feed bad about it. And guilt then sinks in.
The point is, just as guilt is taught, so is food guilt. When you feel food guilt it means you believe you are doing something wrong, you are breaking a food rule you have.
Ways to stop yourself from emotionally eating during the holiday season
The holidays are usually filled with mixed emotions. It’s a stressful, but happy time, after all. Many of us look forward to celebrating the togetherness of the holidays with a stocked fridge and pantry, and that often doesn’t mean stocked with healthy foods. It’s typically packed full of all the it’s-only-once-a-year stuff: peppermint park, snowflake cookies, and eggnog.
Emotional eating has nothing to do with hunger, nutrition, or wellness goals. Food is not made up of only vitamins, minerals, nutrients, and fiber. It’s also made up of stuff that connects to your feelings.
The following will show you how you can make it through the emotional roller coaster of the holiday season without throwing your goals out the window.
Reframe your intentions
Yes, you could choose to go through the holidays focusing on the guilt for not remembering to buy your colleague a gift, sleep deprivation because you’ve been burning the candle at both ends trying to get everything done before your vacation, stress because the holiday cards haven’t arrived.
You could also choose to get through the holidays mindfully. Making the choice to focus on celebrating the company you keep, being in the moment and giving attention to your holiday traditions will keep you from feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and reaching for the soothing arms of that hot cocoa with whipped cream.
However when you do feel stressed, try keeping a warm cup of tea on hand at all times. It will serve many purposes from the heat and smell soothing and relaxing you and your feelings, to hydrating you. And it will serve as a reminder to keep your wellness at the forefront of your mind.
Know that you are in control
You do not have to be a victim of the stress, happiness, sadness, and emotional energy suck of the holidays. Decide what you are going to bring to your family’s holiday potluck, so you know you have a healthy snack on hand.
Try having a satisfying and healthy dinner before you go to your office holiday party so you don’t wind up making puff pastries your meal. Go ahead and make the decision to stick to seltzer with a sprinkle of pomegranate seeds instead of champagne.
You may also find it extremely helpful to keep a food journal from December 1 to January 1. It will help you see that the binge you thought you had was actually just too much brie. And it may also help you to eat less. Knowing you will have to write it down will make you think twice before going for seconds of the pie.
Ultimately, feeling empowered helps you control your emotions and eating.
Delay, Distract, Disarm
The first is to delay. Slow yourself down, and try not to head straight for the food. Start with a glass of water, tea, or seltzer and make a conscious decision to slow your intake. Nobody is going to rip your plate out from under you and the appetizer tray will still be there in 15 minutes.
The second is to distract. You should be catching up with friends and family, that is what the holiday season is really about. Distract yourself by talking to your loved ones, checking out the ornaments on the tree, or lending a hand to the host.
The final is to disarm. Don’t keep unwanted food in the house. Try not to hover over the buffet table. Out of sight, out of mind.On a similar note, try not to bring sweets and treats home. Keep your home focused on health and wellness by stocking up on winter produce such as grapefruit, clementines, pomegranate and root veggies.
Tips to enjoy a holiday dinner without food guilt
Holiday dinners can often bring up feelings of fear or uncertainty for some people. This can be due to a variety of reasons, food related or not, but for some those feelings stem from feeling guilt about eating a holiday dinner. The holidays are about the feeling of connection, and food often helps us feel connected to one another during the holiday.
So here are a few tips on how to navigate a holiday meal while feeling confident and powered, so that you are able to enjoy your meal without guilt:
Prepare
If you are going to a restaurant or going to a friend’s house, if you are not in control of what is going to be served then the first tip is to find out what the menu will be for the holiday dinner. Don’t worry about being too pushy or coming across as being too controlling because at the end of the day, you are in control and are responsible for your needs, your comfort and your safety. And if you want to design your day around what the meal is going to be for the holiday dinner then you have every right to do that.
Any type of food sensitivity or any diet plan you may have is often the first step that is overlooked, and this can often bring the feelings or emotions that would lead you into any type of binge or food guilt session. Any abandonment of your food goals is often caused because you are surprised or caught off guard. So by preparing yourself, by knowing what is going to be served, you can figure out how you are going to fit that into your individual needs.
Don’t show up hungry
The second tip is not to show up to the holiday meal hungry. Sometimes on the day of a holiday meal, we might not eat a big breakfast or lunch so that we can save room for the many different foods that are going to be at the holiday meal. However, you want to make sure that you have at least 4-6 ounces of protein before the holiday meal that day as well as at least 24 ounces of water. This is to make sure you’re not dehydrated and so that you have some satisfying protein before the meal.
Prep changes are okay
The third tip is to not be afraid for asking for prep changes surrounding the holiday meal. This typically applies to if you are not in control of the menu, like being at a friends house or being out at a restaurant. Don’t be afraid to ask to have a portion of vegetables that have sauce on the side or a salad that has the dressing on the side. The same goes for asking for vegetables that are steamed or asking for vegetables that don’t have any sauté on them, if that’s what comfortable for you.
It’s important to really believe that the people you are surrounding yourself with for this holiday meal are excited to help make you feel good and want to help make you feel comfortable. The belief that people want to make us feel good and comfortable around them is something that is important to cultivate. So don’t be afraid to ask for certain prep changes if that’s what is going to make you feel more comfortable.
Create one plate
The final tip is when you are starting to sit down and get ready for dinner, instead of taking a little bit from one dish and then going back up for a little bit from a different dish, decide what you want and create one plate. When you are up to get food for the first time, look at the entire table in front of you and at all of the food that is being offered there. Decide from those options what it is that you want to put on your plate and allow yourself the correct portion sizes of each of the foods you want.
Proteins would be about 4-5 ounces. Starches would be about 1/2 cup. Vegetables would be about a cup if they are non-starchy and light on the oil or dressing, or greens.
You want to create a plate that is abundant and filling, and return to your seat to eat it slowly and mindfully, really savoring each bite. And if after you finish that plate you have the urge to go back for seconds, first drink 16 ounces of water. If you still want to go back for seconds after drinking the water, pick one thing from the table that you want as seconds.
While you most likely aren’t really hungry for seconds, and it’s more of an emotional thing, it’s okay that you go back for seconds during a holiday dinner because it’s a celebratory time. So pick one thing, give yourself the correct portion size, and savor it.
Lifestyles that are more susceptible to emotional eating and food guilt
While anyone can be susceptible to experiencing emotional eating and food guilt, there are certain lifestyles that are more likely to attract this feeling. Once you recognize that you fall within one of these lifestyles, you will be one step closer to taking control and starting your wellness journey. However if you don’t relate with one of these lifestyles, and still find yourself experiencing emotional eating or food guilt, it does not mean that you still can’t take control.
Poor food mindset
Those who have a poor food mindset, or who have a negative mindset associated with food, are more likely to be susceptible to experiencing food guilt. Someone who has a poor food mindset might label the food they eat as either good or bad, or healthy or junk. They might also associate themselves as bad or junk when they eat the foods they labeled as such. This type of lifestyle might be familiar with food guilt because if they allow themselves to eat that bad or junk food, they may feel guilt towards allowing themself to be bad or junk.
WHAT CAN BE DONE
Try not to associate food as being either good or bad because food is food. Instead of referring to your food bad or junk, try calling it by its name. So instead of calling a Holiday dessert bad food, just call it by its name. Then once there is no label associate with that food, you might feel less guilt about eating it.
Food anxiety
Those who have food anxiety, or find themselves nervous around or just thinking about food, are more likely to be susceptible to experiencing food guilt. Someone who has food anxiety might not let themself eat certain foods, whether they believe it’s because the food is bad or if they have a troubled past with that food. This type of lifestyle might be familiar with food guilt because when they allow themself to eat the food they deprive themselves of, this often causes feelings of guilt.
WHAT CAN BE DONE
If you are not hosting the holiday dinner, don’t be afraid to call whomever is hosting it and ask what it going to be on the menu either the day of or the day before. This will calm your food anxiety a bit, and you will be prepared for what food is being offered.
Scarcity complex
Those who find themselves with a scarcity complex, or with the fear of wasting food, are more likely to become susceptible to emotional eating. Someone who has a scarcity complex often has a deep rooted fear that if they don't finish everything on their plate, they are inherently a bad person. They might also feel this way about eating the free food from work even if they aren’t hungry or that isn’t what they want. This type of lifestyle would be susceptible to emotional eating because the lack of trust that comes with a scarcity complex is one of the main contributors to emotional eating.
WHAT CAN BE DONE
As an adult, you have the power of choice. There are tools that can help ease your scarcity complex, but only you will know what they are. These tools will help you to slow down enough to understand what motivates your choices. Remember, choice is available at any time and has no judgements. So at a holiday meal, try not to force yourself to finish everything on your plate if you are surrounded by your family. Trust that you have the power of choice to say no.
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Holiday meals are all about preparation, accountability, and some discipline. But holiday meals are also about savoring and enjoyment, and it’s important not to forget that piece. We also want to feel that savoring and enjoyment the next day as well though. Through following these tips for navigating through holiday dinner emotional eating and food guilt, we can continue to nourish ourselves moving forward.
Extra tips about emotional eating and food guilt
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Keep an emotional food diary. This can help you keep track of your patterns of emotional eating so that you can identify them more easily in the future.
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Find other ways to ‘feed your feelings’ like taking a brisk walk, practicing yoga or reading a good book.
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Intuitive eating. By practicing intuitive eating, you can clear yourself of any stress or anxiety surrounding the food you’re eating. This in turn will make you enjoy the food and the people you’re with.
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Mindful eating. Try practicing mindful eating when you are experiencing food guilt by savoring the food you are eating.
